Ideal And Aftermath

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis 1876 (Auburn) – 1938 (Melbourne)

I wed him because he looked nice (said she)
And I feared to be left on the shelf.
For I wouldn't take mother's advice (said she),
So I've no one to blame but myself.
My friends always said that he had a flat head
And a curious cranial kink;
But I feel 'neath the spell of his lovely marcel . . .
Now he's bald, and he's taken to drink.

I wed him because he looked slim (said she)
And athletic and noble and brave.
I thought there was no one like him (said she),
For he really knew how to behave.
Now he's humble and meek, and, whenever I speak,
He cringes and crawls like a tyke.
Tho' bay-windowed in front, he's the soul of a runt;
And I bully him just as I like.

I wed him because he looked sweet (said she),
Of manhood my very ideal.
I thought that my bliss was complete (said she):
I could hardly believe he was real.
But he's real right enough; tho' not quite of the stuff
I'd imagined the day I said 'Yes';
But I hardly mind that, tho' he's bald and he's fat
And slovenly, too, in his dress.

I wed him for better or worse (said she)
When with love I was slightly insane.
But there's ne'er a regret that I nurse (said she),
For I've really small cause to complain.
For I'm fifty and fat, and my arches are flat,
And I grumble and fidget and fuss.
Yet he thought me, he said a dream child when we wed.
So it's just fifty-fifty with us.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

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Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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"Ideal And Aftermath" Poetry.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 6 Aug. 2020. <https://www.poetry.net/poem/6379/ideal-and-aftermath>.

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