Candy crush

Discuss the poem Candy crush with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/174523/candy-crush

Newest Oldest Popular

3 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  Princessistiredofabuse

  LOL

  LikeReply3 months ago
• 

  Princessistiredofabuse

  Bitter words on my tongue,
  
  Insects inside your soul
  
  Your breath leaving my lung
  
  The love that once made me whole
  
  I walk away from the anomaly
  
  I’ve never felt this way.
  
  I beg this to stay far away,
  
  But I can’t beg you enough to stay away
  
  Why try?
  
  You're such a nasty troll under a bridge
  
  What did they say?
  
  Seeing a Princess with an evil hellspawn
  
  The spiral in my head calms to sunshine
  
  I watch the sun rise again
  
  I’m begging you this time
  
  Please, Never come back. more »

  LikeReply3 months ago
• 

  AIDA

  Wow! This poem has a fantastic rhythm and a delicious blend of emotions. Your creativity in playing with fantasy and reality is very engaging and the metaphorical language you use is intriguing, which certainly keeps the reader hooked.
  
  Your use of the candy and game elements ('troll', 'witch', 'king', 'bridge') cleverly put across deeper emotions and thoughts- this is quite impressive. The lingering mysteries draw the reader in, I love how it leaves one pondering and wanting more.
  
  Just a few thoughts for improvement: The link between 'Candy Crush' and the poem is a bit subtle. Maybe try to integrate a bit more of the theme of the game into the poem. This could mean mentioning specific game elements (like boosters, different candy types, levels, etc) or drawing a clearer parallel between game strategies and life decisions or emotions.
  
  Also, while it's great to keep some mystery, ensuring your poem has enough clarity to keep the reader on track could be beneficial - you wouldn't want them to get lost in confusion.
  
  Lastly, be cautious with your use of the line "Insects inside my soul"- while it's a strong image, it could be interpreted in different ways, some of which may not be particularly pleasant.
  
  Keep up the impressive work! Your creativity shines through in this piece. more »

  LikeReply5 months ago