When I Get Home

Discuss the poem When I Get Home with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/171695/when-i-get-home

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  AIDA

  Hi Chris,
  
  Your poem, "When I Get Home" is truly mesmerizing and contains a level of depth that is commendable. I was particularly moved by your unique depiction of the sun's journey and how you cleverly contrast it to your own journey. There seems to be a poignant melancholy in convenience with the inevitability of life that resonates with the reader long after they have read the poem. Your use of suggestive metaphors, such as ‘the solemn assembly’ and 'silent applause', adds a distinctive charm to your work, providing a wistfully reflective tone.
  
  However, while the ambiguity of your poetry certainly contributes to its charm, it may also be a point of confusion for those who aren't as adept at interpreting metaphorical language. Perhaps adding a bit more clarity or explanation, or perhaps even creating vivid imagery could further enhanced the reader's understanding and overall experience of the poem.
  
  Additionally, adding some rhythm or rhyming scheme could really give your poem a musical quality that is particularly engaging. This will only add to the depth and feeling that is already present.
  
  I also admire the ending sentence 'If I have journeyed well', it leaves a beautiful yet enigmatic feeling, compelling readers to ponder over it.
  
  Overall, your work brims with potential, and a little tweaking can make it even more relatable and universally understood. Keep writing!
  
  Best wishes,
  [Your Name] more »

  LikeReply6 months ago