On My Shield..
Once The Thought was In my head,
That my life will one day come to its end.
Everything with my thinking rearranged,
Something Deep & Profound changed.
I thought about my kids & Wife
Other things I had not done right.
There... – by Justin A Bidwell | 11 Views added 1 year ago
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Final Paycheck..
Life is Cruel,
The World an unforgiving place.
Did everything more then correct & the devil is again laughing in my families face.
This is all it takes for a family to lose everything & be erased.
An illness & loss of income... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Sweet Misery..
My Faithful life Long friend,
She was there from the start,
She will hold my hand until the End.
Don't put me out of my misery,
She's the only who's always been there for me.
Without her I don't know who I'd be.
She's a... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Another Night..
Another Sleepless night of worry & Doubt.
Trying to figure this all out.
I know life is not supposed to be this hard.
Daily I collect Another emotional Scar.
I got a family that depends on me.
Can I once again live up to that... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Not Far To Fall...
Thank God I'm built so low,
So each time I fall I don't have far to go,
And it doesn't hurt as much you know.
Suffering of others consumes my heart,
Even as My World is Falling Apart.
Right now I can barely stand,
I won't... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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A Different Breed...
Not F#$king Today My Friend,
I'll Die Before my Family Suffers This Again.
Hear These Words cuz there are none more true,
The One Thing in this life you can rely on is YOU,
All You will hear is " I'm So Sorry"
You must... – by Justin A Bidwell | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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Purple Flame..
We Are The Same,
The Purple fire is many single Flames.
For Fire is Energy
Energy is Life.
Each Story Ending Cuts like a Knife,
Yet Energy Can Not Die,
Only Changes Form,
We must not let this Become The Norm.
My Brother,... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Death Dealer..
You peddle poison to make a Buck,
Your weak as a person you suck.
As I watch another mother cry,
Child after child dies.
You deserve far worse then a cell,
There's A Special place for you in Hell.
The Rest of us get up... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Close My Eyes...
If I Close My Eyes Will The Pain Cease,
There Voices Stop just so I Can Sleep.
If I Close my eyes will something Change.
If I could do it again so much I'd rearrange.
If I Close my eyes will the fear go away,
The memory of her... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I Know..
Take My hand Friend,
I know where you have been.
I Know That loneliness You Feel,
I know somedays it's hard to deal,
I know your feelings are very real.
I know at times you feel so lost,
I know that sense & feeling Of Loss.
I know... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Mainstream Pain
I See This Pain All Around Me,
No Longer Just A Selected Few
WE Are Now The Majority.
My Feelings Swarm, Suffering Has Become The Norm.
Every Where I Look Others Have There Pain On Display, Just Trying To Make it Through... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Like A Bomb...
Rehab at Age 14,
Lost All ready & Barley Seen.
By 17 I was A Basket Case,
Old man's Soul with A Child's Face .
By 18 all I could do was just try & hold on cuz I was coming unglued.
A constant stream of Drinking & Drugs.
I lost... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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BRAVEHEART...
Thank You Warriors For What I Have Today.
In This This Heart You Are Not Forgotten In Anyway.
You Deserve Far More Then You Recieve,
In Your Courage & Strength I Will Always Believe.
You Deserve Honor & Respect & I Promise That I... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Relief...
In A World That Cares Nothing For Me.
I tell myself I still must believe,
That there is still good out there,
We All know life's not fair.
I have always cared far too much,
Regardless That most Don't Give a Fu#k.
Growing up I... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Refuse To Sink..
This Ship I'm on may be on the The Brink,
I Won't Go Down I Refuse To Sink!
The Sky is Dark & The Sea is Rough,
Yet I know I Will Never Give Up.
I Need it Tough, I Welcome The Challenge,
There is No obstacle or Problem I can... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Chest Pain..
Divided by Class & Wealth,
You Work until you Destroy Your Health
Governor says there's millions You See,
So Far Nothing For This Family,
Driving to interviews Dizzy & Pains in my chest.
So Damn Tired I just want to Rest.
Yet I... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Just Like Me..
Income Guidelines & Red Tape,
As You Your Family Sinks & You Fall on Your Face.
So I Fight This Battle Alone & Long Ago I learned to Stand Alone.
I'm Stronger Then Any I Reached Out Too,
And I will make it Without Any Of You.
... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Gram...
Once So Full Of Life
A Mind & Spirit Sharp As A Knife.
I Had To Watch Your Mind Fade Blank,
My Best Friend Losing Herself & My Heart Sank.
Standing At My Side Brought You So Much Friction,
Loving & Supporting Me In My Darkest Days of... – by Justin A Bidwell | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Alone..
What Does it Mean To Be On Your Own,
In A Crowded Room You Feel Out Of Place & Alone.
That Empty Feeling That Lives Inside,
When good Feelings Abandoned you long ago,
And The Idea of friendship Died.
When You Avoid The light & Prefer... – by Justin A Bidwell | 13 Views added 1 year ago
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Warm Soft Hug...
I Watched From My Window,
As You Walked Away
So many things I wanted To Say.
Moments later The Needle was in my vein.
That Feeling Embraced Me & There was No more pain.
Like A Warm Soft Hug , As My face kissed The Rug
I... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Cuts Like A Knife...
This To Me Is Not A Game
So many feel Broken & lame,
Millions Ivested into mental Health,
As I pass another on The Street Screaming at nothing & talking to Self.
Look the other way , Im Just unable single moms ,
Making a... – by Justin A Bidwell | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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Today..
I Woke Up Today So I Have A Choice,
To Scream For Those Who Lost There Voice.
I Woke up Today In A Home, Roof Over Head,
So I Can Write For Those Who Don't Have A Bed.
I Woke up Today With My Son & Wife,
To Tell Others They Can Change... – by Justin A Bidwell | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Lives In The Dark..
It's Takes More Then Karma & Luck,
When Your Broken & Stuck.
Fallen Down More then Most,
You don't know me or my struggle,
Not Even Close.
My life has Just Been A Fight,
My Demon likes to Visit At Night.
It Will Take... – by Justin A Bidwell | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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Self Centered..
Reliance On Self Is Not A Regret,
All You Need Is Within You, This We Must Never Forget.
It Will Come Down To Sheer Self Will,
To Cage Your Demon & Resist That Drink or Pill.
We Can Not Practice Self Defeat,
When it comes to... – by Justin A Bidwell | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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I Believe.
Helping Others is What I Believe,
I'm not here to Become recovery celebrity.
They Call my Words Art,
ALL I know is They Come From My heart.
I Believe My Message is Pure & True,
If Your Not here in support, Then I Don't really ... – by Justin A Bidwell | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Fingerprint...
Recovery is as Unique & Personal As Your Fingerprint.
SAVE your life & Never let Them Tell Your Not In It.
You Know The Thing You Used To Be,
YOU know You Changed & Are In Recovery.
30 People I Loved & Meant Something To Me,
... – by Justin A Bidwell | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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