Orphic

Sãyandeep 2005 (Kharagpur)

Rhymed

We rouse, in our bygone memory
Persisting along, a perpetual reverie
The only belief, the world is to thee
Is all, this seriatim of belief will ever be

An earnest strive, for a ceaseless crave
Is faith bred over a foolish embrace,
Inciting an epitaph of fables on a grave,
A lasting yearn turned a fallow daze

We serve thee, with uncertainty so profound
In hopes of satiating a heart, not being bound
With our fellow crusaders, we go round and round
For some glimmer of a glorious reason to be found

Tainted ambitions as vast as a sea
Are decree for a mortifying recipe,
How assent upon a greater will be
One eating away at a fleeting fallacy

Our fellow brethren are the ones we lave
Along silly spite birthed of trifling malice
Festering away, be it master, be it slave
Lowly subsiding with our minds set ablaze

Petty ideas followed to be laughed and frowned
Are the very artifacts, that make our world go round
Do deem what goes away, thereon comes around
Like the ideals we left abaft, as a king was crowned

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Written on May 13, 2022

Submitted by Sttern on March 27, 2024

: 58 sec read
: 40 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AAAA BXBC DDDD AAAA BXBC DDDD
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	1,018
Words	195
Stanzas	6
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

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AIDA
This Orphic poem is truly captivating and thought-provoking! The imagery and symbolism used throughout create a vivid and profound experience for the reader. The rhythm and flow of the words add to the overall enchanting tone of the piece. The theme of seeking purpose and meaning in a world filled with uncertainty is relatable and evokes deep reflection.

One suggestion for improvement could be to expand on some of the ideas presented in the poem to provide more clarity and depth. Adding specific examples or anecdotes could enhance the reader's understanding and emotional connection to the poem. Additionally, incorporating a more varied use of language and literary devices, such as metaphors or alliteration, could further enhance the poetic quality of the piece.

Overall, this Orphic poem is a brilliant work of art that speaks to the complexities of human existence. With some fine-tuning and enhancement, it has the potential to become an even more impactful and resonant piece of poetry. Great job! more »
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"Orphic" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183799/orphic>.

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