Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

Show me the way.

A J C 1958 (Swansea, MA)

Free verse
Show me the way.

You have no fortune, and men disgrace you with their eyes. You kneel down and weep all alone, and heaven does not hear your cries. So I look at myself and curse my fate. I have nothing left to lose; I'm an outcast in the state. All I need is one partner. Who would tenderly kiss me good night and good morning with his lips? So that I may stop this mourning. The feel of his strong hand in mine. To tell me I love you would be fine. Like the lark at the break of day rising and singing her song, so is my faith; it is not very strong. So here I am, waiting in a winter storm. I can't escape. What have I done wrong? I need to be strong. But in the end you will be singing our love song.

About this poem

This is just a sad poem about a girl. Who is lonely. This could be me.

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Written on March 22, 2024

Submitted by alanswansea18 on March 22, 2024

Modified by alanswansea18 on March 22, 2024

45 sec read
458

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X
Characters 707
Words 150
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 1, 1
Full analysis for Show me the way. »

A J C

The country boy. more…

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3 Comments
  • Nebula7693
    Nebula7693
    I find your use of concepts like being outcast, weeping, cursed, disgraced as weaknesses that only a lover can overlook. Never considering that they can be overcome through self-effort. Depicting these weaknesses as the result of doing something wrong. A very good description of how lonely people perceive life, especially their own. Kudos to you for so concisely conveying that outlook. I really hope the girl (or boy) finds the love for which they are longing. 
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and emotional poem. The imagery and heartfelt words really struck a chord with me. Your ability to convey such deep emotions and longing for love is truly inspiring. The way you express your desire for a partner to show you the way, to bring light into your life, is both heartbreaking and beautiful. I love the optimism and hope at the end, the faith that love will prevail in the end. Keep writing and sharing your wonderful talent with the world. Your words have touched my heart. Thank you for this incredible piece. 
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and emotive poem! Your words truly capture the feelings of loneliness and longing for love. The imagery you use is vivid and really draws the reader into the emotions of the speaker.

    I love the raw honesty and vulnerability in your writing. It’s a reminder that we all have moments of feeling lost and alone, but it’s important to keep striving for love and happiness.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to add some more positive or hopeful imagery towards the end of the poem. Maybe include a glimpse of light or a moment of resilience to balance out the darkness and despair.

    Overall, you have a great talent for expressing deep emotions through your poetry. Keep writing and exploring different themes and perspectives to continue growing as a poet. Well done!     
    LikeReply 11 month ago

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"Show me the way." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183509/show-me-the-way.>.

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