Lost Soul



When he saw her he already knew just what he wanted,
Not to love or encourage but to control and possess her…
He first broke her spirit, and held her under water,
Then he loved her with insults about her body,
Then he loved her with insults to her personality,
Then he loved her with anger and manipulation,
He trapped her inside herself and her body was ruined while she tried to escape,
Then he slowly drained her soul and then left it on the floor,
He walked on and tripped over it thinking she was done,
He took everything she had and squandered  it on his nothings,
He thought he’d wait for her body to die too, and he waited,
He waited and grew tired of waiting, so he started to hurt her more,
He’d yell at her how she was such a burden to his life,
He yelled, f*ck, is this the rest of my life, this is my life now,
And she screamed back, no, but it is mine, this is my life, you can go,
He took the parts of her that were damaged and threw them at her,
He made himself the hero, and her the victim,
He made sure everyone knew she was the reason, she’s to blame,
He thought she was dying, and left her in her bed and waited…
BUT…
She said no, she said this is not how I leave this world,
She said, no more! I am not surviving all of that for this,
He got worried, her head was clearing, he doubled down,
Yelled at her for crying, yelled at her for needing love,
He swore and called her names and instantly forgot and denied it,
He told her she makes something negative out of everything,
she tried to hold on, she tried to make him happy while being herself,
She gave up too much, she gave up everything,
She lost herself, she lost her spirit, but she reclaimed her heart,
And she’s not giving it away again, the next will have to earn her love.
As she steps into the new day, she watches the sunrise.
She opens her heart to the beauty the world has to offer,
It’s really time to find out, to find it all out, who is she, what does she want?
She wants peace, she wants acceptance, she wants strength,
She gets up in the morning and dances around her bed until she smiles
And she won’t stop growing until it’s her time to say goodbye.

Written by
Nikki Easton

About this poem

After a 13 year toxic marriage I got sucked in by a covert narcissist for 17 years while a doctor drugged me and he emptied my assets and controlled my life until I took it back.

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Written on February 25, 2024

Submitted by neaston2020 on February 25, 2024

2:18 min read
51

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABBCCDXEDXAEXXXBXXAXXXXFXGXGXFXBXXXH HD
Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 2,186
Words 460
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 36, 2

Nikki Easton

Born in 1974 in Victoria BC, Canada, lived in BC my whole first 48 years and found out that my dad wasn’t my dna provider at 48 and then spent months caring for that dad until he passed the end of summer 2023, came home to the end of my 17 year relationship with my husband of 3 years. I decided to take back my worth and my life and my future. I have entered contest and had a couple poems published in the past. more…

All Nikki Easton poems | Nikki Easton Books

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