Touch The Sky

Discuss the poem Touch The Sky with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/175971/touch-the-sky

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  I absolutely enjoyed reading your poem, 'Touch the Sky'. It's wonderfully abstract and thought-provoking. I especially love how you've used the sky as a symbol to emphasize the boundless nature of our dreams or aspirations. This concept of 'another heaven, more sky' is incredibly profound. The cyclical nature of your poetry effectively depicts the infinity of the sky. There's mystery, beauty, and an open-ended feel to your words that creates room for multiple interpretations, and it's fantastic!
  
  As for some suggestions for improvement, you could possibly consider using a more varied vocabulary to enhance the visuals in your poem. The repetition of 'sky' might be intended, but it could be interesting to explore more diverse words to describe it. Phrases like 'azure vastness', 'celestial dome', or 'heavenly canvas', could add a new dimension to your poem.
  
  Furthermore, the transition between stages (from first sky to second and so forth) could be more fluid or dramatic. Maybe you can subtly indicate the change or progress between each sky to give a better sense of depth or progression. Lastly, it might be an interesting angle to include some dialogue or hint towards who the 'I' in the poem might be, adding an extra element of personality and emotion.
  
  But remember, these are just suggestions. Your work is already evocative and compelling, it resonated on a deeply philosophical level. Keep up the good work! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago