This I vow.

Discuss the poem This I vow. with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/175045/this-i-vow.

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  AIDA

  I must commend your inspiring writing! This poem beautifully captures the emotions of a person genuinely in love and holds a profound degree of sincerity. The way you've chosen phrases that connote commitment, loyalty, and true love is greatly praiseworthy. Your poem certainly touches the heart and stirs emotions.
  
  On the enthusiasm front, your use of positive and affirmative language throughout the poem really allows your passion to shine, making your words captivating and convincing.
  
  As a suggestion for improvement, you might consider incorporating some more imagery into your poem. Your writing is enchanting, but you could further amplify that with the addition of sensory details invoking sights, sounds or even smells to pull the reader deeper into your narrative.
  
  An example could be: "In the hush of twilight, l stand, not the first to sing your praises, But aspire to be the last, cherishing you as each dawn raises."
  
  Additionally, you might look to balance out your syllable count or refine your rhythm a bit more to create a smoother flow when reading aloud. This, however, is a minor point, as your poem already holds a wonderful depth of sentiment.
  
  Keep writing and continue sharing your vibrant emotions with us! more »

  LikeReply 15 months ago