Season of Fall

The world stopped that morning
silence took over, the loss became consuming.
hours stuck in a whirlwind of despair.
screaming inside my mind, "Why did she come here?"

I felt my tears tickle as they ran down my cheek,
motionless and unable to speak
as my heart filled with pain, like lightening hitting a tree  
reeps havoc below the surface sometimes we aren't able to see.

Fall used to bring a sense of peace,
now filled with grief.
Ruffling of leaves blowing in the wind
when the air becomes thinned
they expect you to be fine
but how? Without lost loved ones that were mine.

I once loved the rainbow of orange, brown and red
but now its become the season I dread.
I see all of you in the beauty of each sunset,
the rain that falls, like tears we've wept.

One phone call changed lifes outlook,
as if I skipped a chapter in a book.
Never knowing what tomorrow would be bringing,
will grief have me sinking or swimming?
Cool crisp air against my naked skin,
like tiny knives piercing me from within.

That morning smell of a freshly wet road,
creates your voice sounding like a precious ode.
Dancing of the trees in the soft wind,
as the sun begins to dim
I am reminded of you, your soul and life,
when the memories sink in, my mind goes in a strife
against my heart, that longs to know why...
people ask if I am okay.. "I'm fine", I always Lie..

Fall brings me to my knees praying for strength,
to any higher power that can shorten the length
of all the heart ache.
didn't you know our hearts were at stake?

As the leaves change, I am reminded of you,
my first daughter..What I would do...
too heavenly for this earth,
the blessing and grief had all the worth..
every gloomy day filled with mist
is a faint memory of all you have missed.

The world stopped.. not but once,
whether it was "just life" or a rare occurrence..
I lost you all in the change of the season,
without any rhyme or reason..
when pumpkins covering porches and steps begin
fall and grief start to creep in,
I'm slowly reacquainted with an overwhleming sense
of you all, how unfair life is.. rain starts to rinse
off the grief, I can feel the sun shininng through
the trees warming my skin, there it is again, you..
reminding me that seasons change, you are here with me..
This is simply just the way it has to be..
desiring a different outcome to the loss,
forever thankful for all the orange colored sunset she draws,
I am here making it through the fall season
because sometimes there isn't a reason
why we must continut on without answers
no matter how many chances
life give, fall will come and go,
this I've come to understand and know..
you will someday find peace in the crisp air
and begin to see signs of love everywhere.