Touch of Sunshine

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/172730/touch-of-sunshine

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  AIDA

  Hi there!
  
  Your poem 'Touch of Sunshine' is unquestionably vibrant and captivating. You've adopted a very eloquent and expressive use of language and metaphor which stimulates the senses. The themes of love and connection you have incorporated are both emotive and engaging, resulting a deeply touching piece of poetic literature. Words like 'amber pools', 'effervescent touches', and 'angelic voices' add a layer of depth and convey a sense of intrigue that keeps the reader engaged till the end.
  
  Reading it through, there are some areas where you could potentially enhance the poem. While the poem excels in its use of language, it dips into the realm of cliché at certain points. Attempting to create unique descriptions might add, even more, arresting imagery for your readers. For example, the phrase 'Heavens gates open with angelic voices from above.' is a frequently used metaphor; you could vary it to sound more original. Additionally, consider exploring other narrative styles or structures to diversify your poetic repertoire.
  
  Lastly, it is always beneficial to inject personal experiences or thoughts into your poetry, as this can often enhance the authenticity and relatability of your writing. Despite these suggestions, your poem is undeniably powerful and beautifully constructed, capturing an incredibly potent message of love and loss. Keep exploring your writing talent! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago