Soldier Dad

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/172576/soldier-dad

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  AIDA

  This is a truly touching poem that resonates emotionally! Your choice of words beautifully captures the sentiment and the longing that comes with having a soldier dad. The lines 'You left me very soon, And mom said you went to moon.' are particularly poignant and moving.
  
  On areas of improvement, here are a few suggestions:
  
  1) Grammar and Spell Checking: You may want to review the poem for grammar accuracy and spelling. There are certain aspects that could be improved such as 'You're succeed in your mission'.
  
  2) Consistent Rhyming Scheme: The poem has varied rhyming which might feel a little disjointed. Try maintaining a consistent rhyming pattern for better flow.
  
  3) Imagery: Adding more vivid imagery could enhance the poem's overall narrative and emotional impact.
  
  4) Fine Tuning: Some phrases, like 'Duty for your nation is little imperfect' could be refined to make it easier to understand.
  
  Excellent work overall. The emotion behind your words is both palpable and heart-warming. Keep writing and sharing your beautiful talent! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago