Past & Future

The shadows are always there within the forest of my mind
I know who they are, luckily for me they're benevolent
Family members, brothers in arms, even my dog, all unrefined
They say nothing, do nothing, but always evident

Getting lost in the grove probably isn't healthy
It's not that I'm scared of what they want or will do
No matter how far I run, they always find me
It's the guilt, the despair, the pain that perhaps I've forgot

Nay, I'll never forget what I've lost or how I lost it
My only thoughts are of how I could've changed the outcome
I feel like no matter the strides I make, there's always a pit
Perhaps, I couldn't change anything and my thinking is dumb

Sadly though, you lot will always be there for me
No judgments except what I put on myself
Maybe, just maybe you'll disappear when I finally see
Nothing will bring you back though, not even wealth

The doubts are endless as well as the implications
The life I once had is long gone now with only anger in it's wake
I can't treat it like another one of our operations
Anger, uncertainty, doubt, regret, judgements ... It's all been a mistake

Poked, prodded, and experimented on is my life now
Definitely not what we thought our lives would be
I'll keep pushing myself to the limits as much as my body will allow
One day, like you lot, eventually I'll be free.