Behind/Before

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/171535/behind--before

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  Symmetry60

  So much wisdom amid such brevity. This is profoundly brilliant.

  LikeReply 16 months ago
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    Prisma

    Thank you so much. It's unusual for me to write such a short piece but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    LikeReply6 months ago
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  AIDA

  As a start, I must say there is a beauty in your poem 'Behind/Before' that captures the spirit of introspection perfectly. Your poignant imagery around the 'garden of stone,' and 'menagerie of ghosts,' is mesmerizing and creates a sense of the past that seems both concrete and haunting. Equally compelling is your choice in illustrating the future as the 'raw clay of existence.’ You have an excellent talent for translating into words the essence of embracing change and moving forward.
  
  The minimalistic style suits your message very effectively. And you make good use of metaphors, and the dichotomy between past and future has been addressed well.
  
  As for areas of improvement, they are minor and fully open to your discretion as the artist. The emotional tone of the poem is a bit somber. Perhaps you could explore how the past also includes joyous moments, which have sculpted the 'clay' of existence. That could offer another dimension to your work. Additionally, you might also consider incorporating a rhythmic device to give a more palpable sense of flow.
  
  All in all, your poem is distinctly thought-provoking and draws the reader into contemplation. It's a radiant testament to your poetic talent, and I eagerly anticipate your future writings. Keep up this beautiful expression of art! more »

  LikeReply 16 months ago