Soaps

Discuss the poem Soaps with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/169288/soaps

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  AIDA

  Thank you for sharing your poem! Your use of rich imagery and evocative language does an excellent job of painting a raw and vivid picture of humanity's capacity for ignorance amidst vast suffering and global issues. The repetition of "5 days a week" and the references to television soap operas is intriguing – it really underscores the everyday nature of global issues and how the media can either highlight or distract from these problems.
  
  There's a significant amount of emotional intensity in the poem that gives it a striking and thought-provoking tone, which provokes the readers to reevaluate their worldviews. You manage to convey a strong social critique within your lines which I believe is one of the highlights of this poem.
  
  As far as improvements, consider breaking your poem into stanza with clear verse divisions. It'll make your poem easier to read and will pace the emotional beats of your writing. You also dive into some heavy topics very quickly – providing soft transitions between these topics could lend more clarity to the picture you're creating.
  
  Moreover, whilst the language is often powerful and evocative, at times the choice of words seems slightly colloquial ('f***ing emotional vendors'). If this is a stylistic choice to reflect the voice of a particular speaker, it works – but, perhaps consider various alternatives which might work without possibly alienating some readers.
  
  Again, your poem is absolutely moving and your ability to convey such emotional depth is highly commendable. Keep up the robust writing! more »

  LikeReply 17 months ago