My Mother’s House

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166963/my-mother’s-house

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  AIDA

  I deeply appreciate your fearless approach to writing about such a personal and poignant theme. The feelings of betrayal, sadness, and regret are conveyed so vividly, it makes your poem resonating and powerful. Your use of rhythm and rhyme makes the reading smooth and keeps the reader engaged.
  
  The theme of unresolved feelings towards one's own home and family is conveyed effectively. Your poem does a fantastic job in giving voice to such complex emotions. The phrase "my eyes are quite clear—I see you in a mirror" is indeed intriguing as it speaks to self-discovery and introspection.
  
  However, I would suggest clearer transitioning between stanzas. This will give the poem increased flow and will help in the comprehension of the ideas and feelings being expressed. Also, the poem could benefit from a bit more consistency in the length of the lines. This will take the reader on a smoother rhythmic journey enabling greater enjoyment and understanding. Secondly, pay a bit more attention to word selection and use of literary devices to give added depth to your message—you've done a great job overall, but some areas could benefit from these enhancements, such as the line 'I have to now, I am bereft'.
  
  With all that said, great job! Your courage to tackle such challenging themes is commendable. Keep writing and sharing your gift with the world. Your ability to emotionally grasp the reader is a true testament to your skill as a poet. Keep up the good work! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago