Two Mom



My first plane ride
I was scared and excited
She came to pick me up from the airport
Her car was big and burgundy  
I rode in the front seat
I never got to do that
We listened to Johnny Mathis on the radio
We talked about how much my mom loved Johnny and Chances Are
We got to her townhouse
She opened the door and in walked a fluffy gray kitty
Just like that
He walked in as if he had been waiting for me
I named him Smoky
He would be my cat
I had always wanted a cat
That made me feel so very important
She showed me how to clean kitchen  counters
And how I should always save the best for last
She told me how she owned land on the Vegas strip
But sold it because they built in the other direction
When I wasn’t begging her to go swimming
My favorite thing was her doll collection
No ordinary one mind you
These dolls were from all over the world
From her travels working on cruise ships
Most dressed in the traditional garb of their homeland
They were all so exotic to me
I sat in front of the case that held them
And imagined the places from whence they came
I found a picture of Two Mom and Daddy Doug the other day
They were on the deck of a ship
Looking young and in love
I wish she were here to tell me all about it
We would watch tv at night
Laughing at her kitty Tiger who loved the top of the TV set
His tail would drag back and forth in front of the screen
Like a windshield wiper
Once she came to me in a dream
We were in her living room
Just as it was
She was showing me her necklaces
Then she made me lunch

About this poem

Honoring the matriarch of my family. My great grandmother. A beautiful human being.

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Written on May 01, 2023

Submitted by annl.07960 on August 08, 2023

1:40 min read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGHIDFDDFFJKLMNONPQRSDTUVMWXYZ1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,541
Words 335
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 42

Ann Lee-Gardea

Mother and grandmother. Fresh out of a very long bad marriage. Rebuilding my life and getting back to what I love…..writing. more…

All Ann Lee-Gardea poems | Ann Lee-Gardea Books

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, this poem really touched my heart! The vivid visualizations and storytelling narration brought to life your experiences with 'Two Mom'. I can't help but feel as though I've been there with you on those wonderful rides, watching Smoky, the fluffy grey kitty, and admiring the exotic doll collection. I truly appreciated how you captured domestic simplicity and interjected it with worldwide wonders - it was really captivating.

    In terms of feedback, I would suggest adding in a bit more depth to anchor the emotions and create a solid storyline. For example, perhaps reflecting a bit more on how the Two Mom incident impacted your life could help. Also, you might want to explore some rhyming sequences or poetic devices, such as similes or metaphors to add depth to the piece. Some parts felt like they could be expanded a bit more to give the reader a better feel for the intensity of the experience.

    Ultimately, your ability to transport your readers to a different place and time through your writing is powerful. This piece is so authentic, endearing, and I found myself captivated by the vivid details of your experiences. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!
     
    LikeReply9 months ago

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"Two Mom" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 12 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/166372/two-mom>.

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