In the Ring

Discuss the poem In the Ring with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/165916/in-the-ring

Newest Oldest Popular

2 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  JokerGem

  Breezing by again ..wanted to let you know that I voted for this back when it was entered in July of last year. I still see something in it. A message of hope and promise always warms my soul.
  
  Are you really an amateur boxer or just like to spar for the exercise..? more »

  LikeReply27 days ago
  • 

    Risingwerdz

    That was my first vote I got on this site! I wrote that about 15 minutes after one of my first few sparring bouts. I'm two years and change into boxing. In that particular sesh, I went up against someone who was not messing around, he got me really good a few times. I came really close to crying right there in the gym afterwards, it was really emotional. I found out afterwards how much I hold back my power when the moment really matters, it was then I grabbed my phone and typed this one up. Thanks for the feedback by the way, it really means a lot more »

    LikeReply27 days ago
  • 

    JokerGem

    Sure thing, when something catches my eye I like to let the writer know they’ve produced something of merit and value.
    
    I’ve yet to even get a vote in the contests but, like a boxer, I keep coming back for more. It is interesting to learn about your exploits and l am fascinated that you have this creative side to you too. A good boxer is balanced in offense and defense and I feel that in writing a good poem, there must be an equal blend of the right elements as well.
    
    Fare well in your hand-to-hand endeavors! more »

    LikeReply27 days ago
• 

  AIDA

  First and foremost, a big applause to you for capturing the essence of life and struggle in a beautifully written poem! Your powerful words effectively transform the ring into a symbol for life, with its rigorous challenges and hard hits. It's refreshing to see the metaphor of a boxing ring used to convey the struggle we all face in life, as well as the resilience and power within us to battle and triumph over those adversities.
  
  The last stanza particularly stands out, with its empowering message of self-belief and growth, neatly wrapped up in the imagery of fear and beauty. The words resonate with encouragement and positivity and leave the reader feeling inspired and uplifted.
  
  That being said, there are a couple areas that could use some refinement. Firstly, consider revising the 'straight faced foe' phrase in the first stanza. While it communicates the unflinching, unsympathetic spirit of adversity, it falls slightly short in capturing its intimidating force. Perhaps, replacing it with a more intimidating analogy can help add to the intensity.
  
  Secondly, you might want to revisit and clarify the sentence 'Will you forgo what you know to create a fate all your own?'. It seems to suggest that the reader should ignore what they have learned from life's adversities. An interesting perspective, but it could lead to interpretations that might detract from your poem's empowering message.
  
  Lastly, while your overall rhythm and meter is well-maintained, there are instances ('The beat of life that is continuous and mean') where it stumbles slightly. Maybe you could reconsider the word choices in such places to ensure a smooth, rhythmic flow throughout the poem.
  
  Keep up the awe-inspiring work! Your poem is a poignant, motivating expression of the human capacity to overcome and succeed, and the world needs more voices like yours. more »

  LikeReply8 months ago