On My Shield

On My Shield..
Once The Thought was In my head,
That my life will one day come to its end.
Everything with my thinking rearranged,
Something Deep & Profound changed.
I thought about my kids & Wife  
Other things I had not done right.
There was fear, anger, loss & grief,
Then it surprised me cuz in came relief,
In Gods & deties I have no belief.
All That Suffering and pain I had to endure,
What did it get me. What was it all for.
Like lighting it hit me,The feeling of pure exhaustion & I was so very tired.
And I could accept the thought of my moment to expire.
All The people I lost to Death, Illness , Overdose,
I'm ready to be with them again & hold them close.
I've suffered so much more then most & to me this life has not been a gracious host.
Tired of failing & trying to be my Best,
Fighting Battle after Battle I only want rest.
Even The Strongest Warriors lay down there Sword
I can be released from these Vows I swore,
I can't explain How This I came to feel.
To just close my eyes & be carried off this battfield on my shield.
For me it's been  a War That cut me straight & Deep like a Knife,
Yet it's not A war this was my life.
I have Accepted this & the role I played,
When My time comes to rest,
I will not be Afraid...