Analysis of On My Shield

On My Shield..
Once The Thought was In my head,
That my life will one day come to its end.
Everything with my thinking rearranged,
Something Deep & Profound changed.
I thought about my kids & Wife  
Other things I had not done right.
There was fear, anger, loss & grief,
Then it surprised me cuz in came relief,
In Gods & deties I have no belief.
All That Suffering and pain I had to endure,
What did it get me. What was it all for.
Like lighting it hit me,The feeling of pure exhaustion & I was so very tired.
And I could accept the thought of my moment to expire.
All The people I lost to Death, Illness , Overdose,
I'm ready to be with them again & hold them close.
I've suffered so much more then most & to me this life has not been a gracious host.
Tired of failing & trying to be my Best,
Fighting Battle after Battle I only want rest.
Even The Strongest Warriors lay down there Sword
I can be released from these Vows I swore,
I can't explain How This I came to feel.
To just close my eyes & be carried off this battfield on my shield.
For me it's been  a War That cut me straight & Deep like a Knife,
Yet it's not A war this was my life.
I have Accepted this & the role I played,
When My time comes to rest,
I will not be Afraid...