Where Do We Go From Here

It’s never easy saying goodbye when you’re sitting next to me, holding my hand, watching me cry.

Momma, I don’t want to lose you, but the choice isn’t mine. There’s so much to do and not enough time. The children are growing up and I’m l losing my mind.

The things we used to talk about and the places we’d been will never change. You may not remember them anymore because of the confusion and dementia that’s set in.

Losing things and forgetting me is just another day. How can this be? You’re slipping away one day at a time. It’s not fair and I’m losing my mind!

Where do we go from here? How can I say good bye? You’re sitting next to me holding my hand and I’m watching you cry.

There’s nothing good about this disease! It’s mean, it’s ugly, and it’s taking you away from me. We’d talk everyday about the girls, our family, the job, and anything we wanted to say. I wish we did this again.

If only one more perfect day! I would cherish the time more than before. No one knows how much longer we have. The times we talked and things we did seems so far away.

Now your days are filled with confusion and unrest. A normal conversation is a few sentences at best. It’s not easy and there’s no one to blame. This disease sucks and it’s taking you away from us. No plans for the future - just doing what needs to be done because time is ticking away.

Some days are good and some days you forget. That’s ok, Momma. We’re here to help you get by and remember the rest. Your children love you and we’re doing our best. You don’t need to worry, Momma. We got this, sit down and rest.

Once a strong woman now losing control. She’s grown weary and it’s taken a toll. It’s not fair and we’re losing our mind! Watching her day by day trying to remember what she needs to do or the words to say.

How can we say good bye to our Momma and tell her it’s ok? Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry and everything’s going to be alright? We are losing our minds trying to keep control of the situation when life’s quickly spinning out of time. It’s not fair and we’re losing this fight.

Where do we go from here? How can we say good bye? You’re sitting next to us holding our hands, and we’re watching you cry. God help us please! We’re on our knees! Where do we go from here? Oh, where do we go from here?