Analysis of Our Rampant Coat-Of-Arms

The Lion and the Unicorn
Of England's Coat-of-Arms
Seldom make bold, so we are told,
To ravage English farms.
In fact, 'tis said by travellers
Who lately have been there,
That lions hardly ever roam
About the dales and dells at Home,
And unicorns are rare.

But in this topsy-turvy land
Where often - inter alia
Strange forms of bird, in ways absurd,
 Are grafted to mammalia.
And beasts have bills to fit the goose,
Our crazy Coat-of-Arms breaks loose
To roam at night and play the deuce
'Mid farmers in Australia.

The Lion and the Unicorn
Stay put and emplematic;
But kangaroos bluntly refuse
To function, staid and static.
And emus stray to ruin farms,
Raising excursions and alarms;
Which proves such things, on Coats-of-Arms
Are plainly too erratic.

Far better chain them to the shield
Like unicorns in Britain.
Else, by what chance may we 'advance'
As in the motto written?
If not, and they get out of hand,
Before the nations we must stand
Ever a topsy-turvy land
By its own emblem smitten.