Analysis of Safety-Clutch

Once I seen a human ruin
         In a elevator-well.
     And his members was bestrewin'
         All the place where he had fell.

And I says, apostrophisin'
         That uncommon woful wreck:
     'Your position's so surprisin'
         That I tremble for your neck!'

Then that ruin, smilin' sadly
       And impressive, up and spoke:
   'Well, I wouldn't tremble badly,
       For it's been a fortnight broke.'

Then, for further comprehension
       Of his attitude, he begs
   I will focus my attention
       On his various arms and legs--

How they all are contumacious;
       Where they each, respective, lie;
   How one trotter proves ungracious,
       T' other one an alibi.

These particulars is mentioned
       For to show his dismal state,
   Which I wasn't first intentioned
       To specifical relate.

None is worser to be dreaded
       That I ever have heard tell
   Than the gent's who there was spreaded
       In that elevator-well.

Now this tale is allegoric--
      It is figurative all,
   For the well is metaphoric
       And the feller didn't fall.

I opine it isn't moral
       For a writer-man to cheat,
   And despise to wear a laurel
       As was gotten by deceit.

For 'tis Politics intended
       By the elevator, mind,
   It will boost a person splendid
       If his talent is the kind.

Col. Bryan had the talent
       (For the busted man is him)
   And it shot him up right gallant
       Till his head began to swim.

Then the rope it broke above him
       And he painful came to earth
   Where there's nobody to love him
       For his detrimented worth.

Though he's living' none would know him,
       Or at leastwise not as such.
   Moral of this woful poem:
       Frequent oil your safety-clutch.