Analysis of Life Has No Purpose

They say the pen is mightier than the sword,
Which is good, as I dont have the courage for anything more severe,
Over 2,000 Weeks and still the same question from as far as I could wonder,
Why was I conceived will always remain on my lips,
Leaving to feel second best in all relationships,
I wish there was an easy way to go under,
My vase has emptied with all confidence and filled with fear,
I am always fighting to find those highs but life leaves me consistently bored

Where do I even belong?
Where can i close my eyes and never wake up
Why cant I run from life forever,
I cant handle the pressure,,
Half full will never be my cup,
Life is so tiring, when the world compared to you, is more strong

I am glad that there is no children to catch my disease,
I have no house or any sort of legacy,
Cant stop feeing of fake imposter syndrome at work,
Knowing one day I will be caught out,
I dont feel like I have any clout.
Always feeling like a jerk,
I feel boredom rather than ecstasy,
Life is there just to tease

So I know these words dont flow,
Just rambelings line after a line,
But how else do you tell the theatre of life to stop,
No one understands and they think I am just throwing a constant strop,
Cant you sip some tablets in my wine,
I will keep begging till we can end this show