Abyss Of This Hell

this past year, a full blown nightmare, unraveled before my eyes
i can't begin to fully explain my emotions
but it was a tornado of explosions in my mind
whisking me away from the daylight of reality
wishing i was drowning in the deep blue ocean
i witness the darkness of my fantasies just as an owl see's
flying further and further into the abyss of this hell
i'm afraid all of my demons have awoken
and all i'm reminded of is the ringing of sunday morning church bells
this anxiety that is rising inside of me is like a volcano
scorching all of my senses, and paranoia has left me all but broken
now i'm crippled with pain and live in shelters, lost and disabled
made a memory in a journal, of this shameful journey, it won't be forgotten anymore
i may be a bitter old man and i dont know where this road of mine is going
but i'm desperately hoping, i wont get to be that bad, when i'm just rotten to the core