What OCD means to me

I haven’t figured you out just yet, Whether you are harmless or a threat.
You always have to be in control and it has definitely taken its toll.
I have no choice but to do it and the same way each time, to do it differently just feels like a crime.
If I deviate from the normal routine that makes me vulnerable, which makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I feel like I’m committing a terrible sin and that makes me want to climb right out of my skin.
This is what helps you to keep your control, to be a submissive…that’s my role.
Everyday it’s my mind that you rape, I can only pray that someday I can find an escape.