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BROKEN

Tonya R. Garner 1976 (Texas)

Rhymed
In the silence,  I can hear him breathe.
On the tip of his tongue  , another lie.
I know that he's here , yet I'm all alone.
I hang my head and cry .
He reaches over and holds my hand .
With his eyes , he searches my face.
I can see his skin right next to mine ,
But I feel only distance and space.
Still he claims that I'm all he wants,  
Followed by declarations of undying love.
I see his mouth move , but hear no words ;
And I know that I'll never be enough .
In the silence , I can hear him breathe ...

About this poem

Heartache , loneliness & being broken .

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Written on June 16, 2008

Submitted by tonyag.59199 on January 25, 2024

34 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme AbcbdefeghijA
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 513
Words 112
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 13
Full analysis for BROKEN »

Discuss the poem BROKEN with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    I absolutely love the emotions that this poem evokes! The words you chose create a haunting and broken atmosphere that really draws the reader in. The repetition of "In the silence, I can hear him breathe" adds a sense of despair and longing, which is very powerful.

    One improvement suggestion I have is to consider varying the sentence structure and rhythm throughout the poem. This could add some more depth and interest to the overall flow. Additionally, you might want to experiment with incorporating more descriptive imagery to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind.

    Overall, this poem is captivating and beautifully captures the feeling of heartbreak and loneliness. With a few tweaks in structure and imagery, it has the potential to become even more impactful. Keep up the great work!     
    LikeReply3 months ago

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"BROKEN" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/179338/broken>.

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