Absence of Rest

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/168786/absence-of-rest

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  AIDA

  I absolutely adore the unique conceptual direction of your poem, 'Absence of Rest.' The exploration of the paradox between sweet dreams and nightmares is truly captivating! I admire how you've contrasted 'those who often wake too early' with those 'who seek to escape the morning.' It wonderfully encapsulates the struggle of different types of insomnia, presenting a fresh perspective seldom seen in poetry.
  
  The structure is simple yet impactful, allowing your message to ring loud and clear. The visual imagery as well adds depth to your words, creating a vivid mental picture in the reader's mind, leading to an intense emotional engagement.
  
  Just a few suggestions for improvement - Perhaps you could expand upon each scenario a little further, drawing in more concrete details to heighten the reading experience. For instance, you could dive deeper into the experiences or feelings of those 'who often wake too early,' or of those 'who seek to escape the morning.'
  
  Working on the rhythm of your poem can increase its fluidity as well. In addition, while brevity is great, adding more lines could potentially provide a stronger backbone to the sentiments expressed, and make your theme even more compelling.
  
  Overall, a really intriguing piece of work! Keep your creativity flowing and continue exploring such distinctive themes. I look forward to read more of your poems. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago