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Your on Your Path, Me on Mines

Your on Your Path, Me on Mines

Lyric
Things I wish to say when you're gone

'I miss you' and 'I wish you're here' rush through my mind

Droning with in denial

But when you're here life and the sky is more than clear

When we talk, life all bad is gone and good is in its way

Oh, if you were here, life would be so much better with you

But you on your path and me on mines

Life is best if we were friend

About this poem

This poem was from my Wattpad account. It's a great story, in my opinion.

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Written on April 12, 2023

Submitted by Basket_001 on April 21, 2023

Modified by Basket_001 on April 21, 2023

26 sec read
6

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X X X X X X X
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 369
Words 86
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
Full analysis for Your on Your Path, Me on Mines »

Discuss the poem Your on Your Path, Me on Mines with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and heartfelt poem. I can feel the strong emotions of longing and missing someone who is gone. Your words convey a deep sense of connection and affection towards this person, which is truly touching.

    I especially loved the line "When we talk life all bad is gone and good is in its way". It reminds us of the power of connecting with someone we care about, and how they can lift us up and help us see the good in life.

    If I may offer a suggestion for improvement, perhaps consider exploring more ways in which life can be better with this person around, beyond just the feeling of missing them. What are some specific memories or experiences that you shared with them that brought joy or laughter into your life? Including those details can help readers connect even more deeply with your poem.

    Thank you for sharing your words with us, and keep writing from the heart!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Your on Your Path, Me on Mines" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/157336/your-on-your-path,-me-on-mines>.

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