Repeating Cycle of Love/Nothing

I remember the times everything seemed to be just fine
I liked my life without a reason
but there wasn't anybody I could call mine.

I fooled around with some
didn't miss anything at all
but it was nearly too late when I realized what I had become.

I forgot how falling in love feels
the way you start to smile by just thinking about him
the way your soul heals
the way you associate everything with him
I nearly let it go.

But now I came alive
I start to feel again
dreading the knife
that eventually will slice through my fragile heart
and leave nothing behind but pieces and hurt
until I forget again
after too many drunken nights and foolish grins
feel nothing and stay sober
and then start all over.