No Bye 1

Loss of breathe
Sharp chest pain
The world around me
Spinning uncontrollably

What is it this time
Again is the face
Again with the loss of breathe
The world spinning the way it does

Wait, that Angel
That beautiful face
That soft smile
What did she do to me?

I hope he didn't see
What kind of man would I be
Weakness, the nervousness, the sweat
I got it under control

But that face
That memory
Remains
Over and over

What did she do to me
That day under the sun
What came to life
Something smothered left to die

Did I know love even until this
Or what other feeling was this
Torturing me from the inside
Was I even controlling the outside?

For weeks and weeks
I thought of nothing else
Loss of time
I knew I had to make her mine

My wife how wonderful the thought
The way she smiles
The way her eyes look
When they lock into mine

Is this real though?
Am I in some kind of sick dream
How could she see past this
This face this horror wrote all over?

How could she see past the horror inside
How could I shake this solid stone, this pitiful excuse
For a heart I hold in my chest
How could she find one thing beautiful about me?

Just the thought
Filled me all the way inside
You know the warmth
As if the sun heated you from the inside out