choke myself with words

I want to choke myself with words
Gulp down every scripts from the dictionary
So I can puke up wisdoms
And occasionally
Answers
When the teachers at school
Make me nervous
Enough to want to throw up
I'll barf
All the solutions from the bottom of my gut
So to avoid having to stand in front of my suffocating class
From not knowing an answer to how
Fast
It takes
For a car to get from point A to point B in physics
Or when the next time I run into you
In the school's hallway
Since the sight of your presence
Never fails to make me sick
I will be ready
To spew up all the words that were left unsaid
Like dust
I'll brush them out with my broom and leave my insides clean
As shiny as my favorite copper spoon
I'll also scrape out all of my regrets
From each and every corner of my belly
And transport them to you instead
Because I'm tired
All these years waiting
For the apologies that never came
It's been exhausting
So I figure
I should bring to you
All the guilt and all the shame
As an alternative
Because you deserve it
Even though I doubt you'd even be a tad bit sorry
I just want you to know
You're still highly entitled
To all these blames and my past years of misery
So spare me with your ignorance
And your lack of knowledge
Take away these heavy loads that I've been carrying
It's the least you could do for my sake