I WISH I WAS NOT WARY

Some say there is no reason
To be so wary of everyone
I want to say they’re right
How can I say you’re right?
There is no reason to hide the truth
There is no reason to tell you the truth
I can’t vindicate myself for this
I can’t clear my name clean from the slate
I’ve looked and tried in every cranny
I cannot manage this burden
Every breath the ground gives way
The truth is living and spurning me
Waiting to be breathing free
Waiting to be released from me
So why won’t I relinquish it?
What is holding me back?
Why don’t I trust you?
Why do you wonder why I’m struggling?
Does that thought even come to you?
‘I’m struggling’ he said
Is it not apparent in my composure?
When I hide my eyes and brood?
When I fidget my fingers and spill?
I’m not able to clear myself of this
Maybe I’m not supposed to
Because you won’t show up
I’ve asked before, you’ve received
I trusted you and I was left for granted
I’m all that to you, just the breath?
One day I’ll be missing but will you wonder?
What would it take for me to reach you?
How can I trust you if you won’t let me?