This violent mind

This hell I live everyday,
This pains eat away at my body as it faces the reality of sobriety.
Freed from an addiction,
But now forced to face the real world beat down on me.
A place I have been trying to avoid for all these months,
Now all the heat of these emotions pile on my poor soul.
I know exactly what would fix this,
A high that could pick me up and distract me from this violent mind,
I reminisce about the feeling of the world spinning and my cares lifting away,
My brain seeming to forget the nights shaking on the floor because I didn't have my dear substance.
I know the damage addiction does,
Already watching it wreak havoc on my life.
But me and drugs are a love story that is far from over,
I hear her sweet lullaby whisper in my ears,
Telling me to go back,
Let the sweet chaos begin through my drunken eyes.
I say let everything burn, as long as I am high enough to barely see it.