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Hidden smile

Jazmin Smith 2005 (Charlotte North Carolina)

Free verse
I have a smile, bright and true.
Yet I choose to keep it from you.
Like a secret, it rests on my face,
A silent happiness I won't embrace

I have a smile, hidden deep within,
A world of joy, I dare not begin,
For the world around, so unkind
It's not deserving of the peace I find

I have a smile unseen by your eyes,
A treasure I hold, a sweet surprise.
But in your presence, it wants to shine
To share the warmth that could be mine

I have a smile longing to be revealed
To let you know how my heart feels
But alas, your actions so unkind
Tell me that you are not worth my time

So I hold my smile, tightly confined
Knowing it's best, the smile of mine
For you may never know it's genuine glow
If you do not appreciate the love I bestow

I have a smile, hidden away,
For those who cherish, respect, and stay
But for you, who doesn't deserve its grace,
I'll keep my smile and it's sacred place

About this poem

This is me telling the world how I feel and that I always hide my smile and why I choose to hide it

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Submitted by jazminsmith550 on March 23, 2024

1:00 min read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD EEFF XXDX DFGG HHBB
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 893
Words 194
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for Hidden smile »

Jazmin Smith

Hi I'm Jazmin Smith, I'm an 18 year old high school senior, with a passion for writing and poetry, I wrote this poem for my school poetry slam competition and fell in love with it and decided to submit it to other places. more…

All Jazmin Smith poems | Jazmin Smith Books

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2 Comments
  • Nebula7693
    Nebula7693
    Jazmin, this is a beautiful poem. It certainly conveys your fears and concerns but gives the reader a sense of hope to earn what you cherish so highly; your smile. That said:
    The lack of consistency in syllable count makes it a bit difficult to read. You started your first quatrain with a count of 7-8-9-10. Cool. A bit unusual, but also a bit unique. But, after that, your syllable count is all over the place. If you maintain that syllable count in each of your stanzas, it would make reading the poem easier. This inconsistency leads to deterring the reader from fully appreciating your message as the brain must devote resources to reconciling the change in pattern instead of being able to focus on the message. Indeed, it could even result in the reader discontinuing reading it. Just some thoughts that I hope will help you. Keep up the good work. I am following you so I can watch your progress. I am truly interested in seeing where you take your craft. You have talent. 
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    I absolutely love the emotions and depth conveyed in your 'Hidden smile' poem. The way you describe keeping your smile hidden as a form of self-protection is both poignant and relatable. Your words truly capture the inner conflict of wanting to share your happiness with others but also wanting to protect yourself from those who may not appreciate it.

    I suggest considering incorporating more vivid imagery or specific examples to enhance the reader's connection to the poem. This could help make the emotions even more palpable and the message more impactful.

    Overall, your poem is beautifully written and resonates with anyone who has ever felt the need to protect their inner joy. Keep up the amazing work and continue to explore different ways to express your thoughts and emotions through your writing. Well done!     
    LikeReply1 month ago

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"Hidden smile" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183613/hidden-smile>.

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