The Cry

Discuss the poem The Cry with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/183512/the-cry

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  Nebula7693

  To quote the late singer, Meatloaf, "Two out of three ain't bad." The Cry and Jumping the Shark are wonderful works. Looking Back? Meh.
  
  The good: Jumping the Shark was my favorite. When I read the title, I was immediately taken back to the episode of "Happy Days" where the Fonz jumped a shark. It was a terrible episode. To this day, the term "Jumping the Shark" is still synonymous with things and actions that are terrible. While the title of the work doesn't exactly fit with the actual poem, I can see how you got there. The four things you describe are terrible were they to happen. Problem is, as you point out, they cannot happen, therefore, the terrible cannot happen. The message being you have to be in movement to make things happen as stillness is entropy. From that perspective, I can see how you came to use the title.
  The Cry, to be honest, is good but a little too esoteric. You are trying to juxtapose things that don't work together, like, "a close distant reminder." While I did enjoy this piece, that one line seems remarkably out of place.
  
  The bad: Looking Back. I can see where you are trying to go with this. I can see what you are trying to convey. But, for some reason, it just doesn't quite get there. To be honest, I can't quite put my finger on why it fails. It just does.
  
  Remember, this is only a critique, not a statement about you, so it only has whatever value you give it. If my comments mean nothing to you, then the critique means nothing. I am not the one writing your work. If you feel I am way off base, then I probably am. That all said, I do look forward to reading more of your works. Keep them coming. more »

  LikeReply1 month ago
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    KurtPhilipBehm

    I may 'borrow ' Stillness Is Entropy' from you. Thanks for reading.

    LikeReply1 month ago