Pain

My son goes to prison in 5 days... Everyone sees the man who steals and uses heroin...
I see the sweet, gentle, loving boy I raised.
When I visit him in jail, behind the glass is not that man you see.
To me it's that 10 year old boy who sang "beautiful" by eminem to me when I was having a bad day. I see the 5 year old who started climbing cliffs on camping trips while I held my breath, I see the 12 year old who loved to bmx and was an amazing parkour,  I see the 9 year old who was filled with excitement when he got to meet mike row from dirty jobs and be behind the scenes. I see the 7 year old sledding down the hill with a huge grin whose picture was on the front page of the steamboat pilot. I see the teenager who tried so hard to help me and his brother survive on the streets and find food in dumpsters. I see the 15 year old who came and took his brother from me off the streets to give him a better life. I see my beautiful newborn as he is being placed in my arms for the first time. I see Brandon Scott Mustagog one of the most amazing talented human beings I have ever met. I see my son whom I love with everything in me. I know you can not see these things. I know you only see heroin and crime. But please when you speak of my son keep all of these things in mind.

L. Mack

2/2/19