Chapter four

Chapter four 25
By Steve Goldenfort

When did I know?
What were my earliest clues?
Was it when something amazing happened just for me?
Was it when someone told me I was special?
Was it when animals would communicate with me?
Is that when I knew?
No, I always knew.
I knew from my first memories who the  creator was.
I lived as such, for a long time, through original perception
I enjoyed kindergarten because of Judy Dodge.
She was a fringe hippie, too old to start over.
Too young to realise that it was all just a controlled opposition.
Put in place simulating resistance.
Mrs dodge nourished me as the creator.
Making us passports, and flying us all over the world.
Showing us different cultures, and tasting their food.
My kindergarten picture is me, sitting reverse Indian style.
Hands flat together, fingers intertwined.
Resting my chin on my fingers.
A knowing smile on my face.
Black turtleneck, of course.
After that all the pictures are of the creation, not the creator.
The creation began around then.
Growing more and more as I neared first grade.
Finding ways to wear it.
It was the needful pleaser.
It was the shameless liar.
Hiding me from this kali yuga world.
From then I slowly slid deeper inside.
The more control I gave it.
The more it would change my reality.
Somewhere early on I went to sleep.
During this time the creation went about doing its job.
Which was, keeping me alive.
Time passes.
Love happens.
Feeling wonderful.
Seeing between the cracks.
I want more!
What fun!
The creation has been busy.
Building its reality of fear.
Fear is the creation’s only tool, but it has a thousand ways to use it.
Love crashes.
Abandonment.
Pain.
Regret.
Sorrow.
The creation regains control.
Lulling me to forget.
Forget that I exist.
Sleeping.
Sleeping.
Slowly waking.
Bits, here and there.
Synchronic detection rising.
Disturbing and uncomfortable knowledge.
Understanding of truth.
Forgiveness.
Balance.
Self realization.
The veil dissolves.
Disassembling the creation.
Piece by piece.
Fractal by fractal.
Remembering.
Feeling.
Thinking.
Knowing.
Searching.
Finding
Disorientated.
Blinded.
Deafened.
Tricked.
A thin layer of creation.
Like glass, embedded in me.
Discoloring You.
Camouflaging You.
Hiding You.
It can’t let me see You.
Terrified of You.
Can’t exist with You.
The creation sends a blow.
It lands.
The creation stabs.
You bleed.
Thunder.
The creation strikes!
You cry.
Deep rumble.
Your pain.
I twinge.
You Cry!
I hurt.
YOU CRY!
I feel.
I care.
Shattered glass!
Melting fog.
Quantum matching
Love flows.
Awakening to it all.
Remembering it all.
Feeling it all.
Reaching out my hand.
To You.
Completing Our link.
Love flowing.
Together.
Complete.
Reborn.
Creating.
Endings/
/Beginnings.
Eternal……….