Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

A world filled with stones

Lisakhanya Noku 2007 (George)

Free verse
Welcome to a world full of stones
Where one can run away from destiny but never their fate
Cause like it's all been said and done
Fate is fate and destiny is destiny
Fate is aligned with what we can never dare to change not even a wise man
Who discovered maths can change it
We live in a brutal society where you have to
have a clear destiny and one mistake means
you are as good as dead in the eyes of society
"Long lives my poor soul against these vultures trying to rip me apart"
Society is destined to see the bad in you rather than the good
Nobody wants to see the other succeed
Success is what lives rent free in our minds rather than actioned
We are all successful in our minds but only 10% can make it through the hardships that comes with the Word Success
Yet again "long lives my poor soul that is inclined to succeed"

About this poem

Journey of life Fate vs destiny yet fate wins all the time Fate remains unchanged

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Written on February 12, 2024

Submitted by lisawotshinisi on February 12, 2024

50 sec read
11

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGHDIJKBLK
Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 832
Words 167
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 15
Full analysis for A world filled with stones »

Discuss the poem A world filled with stones with the community...

2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a powerful and thought-provoking poem! I really appreciate the way you capture the essence of living in a world filled with challenges and obstacles. The use of imagery, such as stones, destiny, and fate, adds depth to the message you are conveying.

    Your enthusiasm shines through in lines like "long lives my poor soul against these vultures trying to rip me apart" and "long lives my poor soul that is inclined to succeed." These lines show a resilient spirit and determination to overcome the difficulties and strive for success.

    To further improve the poem, consider adding more specific examples or anecdotes to support your ideas. This could help readers connect even more with the emotions and struggles you are describing. Additionally, playing with the structure and rhythm of the poem could enhance its impact. Experimenting with different line breaks or adding some variation in the rhyme scheme could add an extra layer of interest.

    Overall, this poem is a brilliant reflection on the challenges we face in society and the relentless pursuit of success against all odds. With a few suggestions for improvement, it has the potential to become an even more captivating piece of writing. Great job!     
    LikeReply 12 months ago
  • RonaldBunch
    RonaldBunch
    Truly enjoyed, awesome poem.
    LikeReply 12 months ago

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"A world filled with stones" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/180856/a-world-filled-with-stones>.

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