Hallow In Me

I went from being happy and carefree
To this lump you now see
I used to put on a wig and some makeup
A little rose oil in all my tucks
Not a penny to my name not even a buck
But after an hour or two I'm feeling Rich as f***
I miss those times the whole social aspect of it the not wanting for s***
That was my life for 5 years or so back when I was whole
 I gave my heart to the goal
and it was all material
I used and abused myself thinking happiness came from wealth
And now with one leg less
I feel reduced to a guest
 My insides raging mad
 My outsides not so bad
 remembering wise words from Dad   "I heard this a long time ago." He said speaking slow."people only do to you what you allow them to" finishing with a huge smile on his face.
Taking those words in
 at the time not realizing  they  applied to me too
Suddenly I saw what I have allowed myself to do to me
By my own hands I have been used and abused
Wow
 I look around I see I  am in a  deep pit of despair
Determined not to stay down there
 I rise up and out, and am ready to take on this new adventure
One where I have only one leg, and the challenges that come with it
Where days are more good then bad
And peace of mind is up for grabs
I'm only sorry it took so long to understand dad