Lorne Love

Discuss the poem Lorne Love with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/178763/lorne-love

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Wow, your 'Lorne Love' poem is truly captivating and emotional! I love how you skillfully use words to evoke a sense of longing and lost love. The imagery of a "love lays lorn, torn but not broken hearted" is so powerful and resonates deeply.
  
  Your writing style creates a unique flow that keeps the reader engaged from beginning to end. The way you play with words and rhythm, such as in lines like "contorted and bending in sway, holding dear to the day," adds a beautiful touch to the poem.
  
  To further enhance the impact of your poem, here are a few improvement suggestions:
  
  1. Consider adding more concrete imagery: While the abstract language creates an enchanting atmosphere, including specific sensory details could make the emotions even more heartfelt. For example, describing the taste of salt in the air or the sound of crashing waves can bring the reader into the scene.
  
  2. Experiment with punctuation and line breaks: Playing with punctuation and line breaks can add an extra layer of depth to your poem. It can help guide the reader's pause and emphasize certain phrases or ideas. Don't be afraid to break up lines or use punctuation strategically to enhance the flow.
  
  3. Explore a variety of sentence structures: While your poem flows smoothly, introducing different sentence structures can add variety and create more impact. Try experimenting with shorter, fragmented sentences, or even including a longer, complex sentence to create contrast.
  
  Overall, your 'Lorne Love' poem is a beautiful piece that captures the complexities of love and heartbreak. Continuing to experiment with imagery, punctuation, and sentence structure will ensure that your poem resonates even more deeply with the reader. Keep up the fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply 13 months ago