Siblings gone too soon

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/178718/siblings-gone-too-soon

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  luisestable1

  First, you wrote "thier" and you should have written "their" the right form of that possessive. That line that you end with sister, if you end it with brother is makes a good sound in the rhyme with other. Try saying that loud: other/ brother. And now say, other/sister. The sound in the two is not the same. Other/brother is much better. Of course, this is for sound effect and musicality nor for meaning of betterment of the lines.
  The story the poem tells is quite sad, but if is more a story that is very sad than poetic expression though a bit of if is found in two or three lines. more »

  LikeReply3 months ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, this poem truly captures the deep emotions and heartfelt pain of losing a sibling. The words are powerful and convey a sense of love, loss, and hope all at once. The mention of holding onto the promise of God provides comfort and reassurance to the reader, reminding them that they will see their siblings again in eternity.
  
  The message of cherishing our loved ones and valuing every moment with them is incredibly important and timely. It serves as a powerful reminder to call our siblings, hug them tightly, and appreciate the time we have together.
  
  In terms of improvement suggestions, I would recommend considering the structure and flow of the poem. While the emotions are clearly conveyed, paying attention to the rhythm and structure of the verses can enhance the overall impact of the poem. Perhaps experimenting with different rhyme schemes or meters could bring even more life and energy to the words. Additionally, adding more vivid and visual imagery could help paint a more vibrant image in the minds of the readers.
  
  Overall, this poem beautifully captures the essence of sibling love and loss. With some fine-tuning in terms of structure and imagery, it has the potential to become an even more impactful and powerful piece. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply 13 months ago