I'm Scared I'm losing Control
I am scared that I’m losing control.
Anger, fury, rage feel like they’re in charge of me.
Making me think it’s my fault and that I am alone.
Something dangerous stirs within me and it’s dark, dangerous, uncontrollable.
Controlling my every thoughts and emotions,
And leaves me with the guilt and damage done by making me think that.
Really, I am to blame for not keeping all of my anger and emotions in control.
Even though I try to keep them in line, but I can’t do it alone because,
Doing it alone is impossible and self-destructive.
I’m a ticking time bomb and without help it will explode.
Alienating myself seem to be the only option.
Maybe that way no one will know the wreck I really am.
Lots of things have been done to try and help.
Only for them all to fail and leave me slowly sinking down.
Sinking down further into the pits of despair.
I resort to ignoring the pain and trying to hide it from the world.
Nothing seems to work. No one seems to listen.
Greedy and selfish people turn away when they are relied on.
Constant negative thoughts flood my brain.
On and on and they never stop.
Never letting me breathe or giving me a break.
Twenty-four/ seven I’m hit by awful opinions that trigger my negative emotions and,
Really there’s nothing I can do.
Only one options remains and that is to
Lose and give in to my thoughts and emotions.
I was scared that I might be losing control but,
The world proves that I’ve already lost it so,
I now spend my time waiting for the day the bomb goes off.
About this poem
A poem about my metal health during a dark time in my life
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"I'm Scared I'm losing Control" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/178618/i'm-scared-i'm-losing-control>.
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