Lessons

they say there’s lessons in every scar
every beat of an aching heart
i used to believe that everything happens for a reason
but i’ve grown tired of these bitter seasons

after all, what lessons are there to be learned?
what wisdom can i gain, and how can i not end up jaded,
when i’m broken pieces on the shower floor,
again and again and again?
déjà vu
what cruel fate could bear to cause this pain,
again and again and again?
déjà vu

sure, these scars may become ancient art
sure, i have learned from the storms in my heart
that to get too close means to fall too far
to dim the light of a soul once meant to shine
and that to find a universe within another’s eyes
will cut you off at the knees
and glaciate your already-withering heartbeat

sure, this pain is good for something
sure, it has taught me something
that i am good for nothing
and that a reflection is bred from nightmares
just like misery from hope
that to love is to bleed
and to die is to be free
but i have died a thousand times
and still, the cage remains