Sleep

Sleep.
It haunts me.
A whisper in my ear.
A thought I can’t quite reach

I breathe. Deeply. In. Out.
Over and over and over.
My mind is too crowded.

The dark is too dark.
The light is too light
Too hot. Too cold.

Eyes closed. Arms relaxed.
Breathe. Big breath.
Clear mind. No thoughts.
And yet.  
There’s too many thoughts.

Everything that has ever hurt me.
Everything that has ever scared me.
Every happy moment.
Every smile. Every tear.
Everything all at once.

No.
Clear mind. No thoughts.
Sleep.
You must sleep.
But I can’t sleep.
I can never sleep.

Not until my body is so heavy.
Not until my mind is so numb.
Everything shuts down.
And sleep forces her way in.