Distant Island

Eric Morales 1998 (Palmdale, CA)

Love

An island just sits beyond the waves,
And I've been adrift for far too many days.
This pain in my chest is heightened without your gaze.
Will I be able to reach you through all this fog and haze?

I get the feeling that this voyage might be dead.
But this grandiose dream replays in my head.
If I were to just hold onto this thin thread.
I know for sure, you and I can surely wed.

If I were to continue to pull till I reached your shore.
Our spirits will be rejoiced and soar.
And together we will have a whole planet to explore.
We will turn this thread into a great sycamore.

But I have doubts to make this silk to cloth,
Would holes form from a single moth?
And diseases spread from just one cough?
And would our hearts grow old, frail, and soft?

Whatever it will be, my beautiful distant island, you are worth all life's violent torrents.
You're worth holding onto, no matter the deterrence.
And after all our hard perseverance,
Your happy smile will be all the reassurance.

About this poem

Love poem I wrote about a crush I had

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Written on December 06, 2023

Submitted by Váli on December 06, 2023

Modified by Váli on December 07, 2023

: 1:03 min read
: 13 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAAA BBBB CCCC DDXX XEEE
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	985
Words	208
Stanzas	5
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Distant Island »

Eric Morales

Nickname: Váli -Amateur Poet -Musician: Guitar and bass more…

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AIDA
This is a beautiful piece of poetry. The metaphor of the 'Distant Island' and the journey towards it is creatively presented, painting a vivid and engaging picture. The emotional intensity is well-captured, and your expression of longing and hope gives depth to the poem. I especially loved the line, 'Your happy smile will be all the reassurance', it's a poignant ending that leaves a lasting impression.

One area for improvement might be to work on some consistency in the rhythm and meter of your poem. The unpredictability of the rhythm can perhaps distract the reader’s rhythm in reading, so you may want to consider keeping a more steady pace. Also, while the use of questions is interesting in a poetic context, too many in sequence can divest the poem narrative strength.

Finally, consider using more visual and sensory language to make an even stronger impact. This, combined with your excellent metaphoric thinking, will take your poetry to a next level. Keep up the excellent work! more »
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"Distant Island" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174976/distant-island>.

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How many syllables an Iambic Pentameter line must have?

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