Lost In the mirror

In the mirror, I've been seeing reflections,
Of someone I thought would meet your expectations.
But I've been realizing, it's not that simple, you see,
I'd never be your favorite, and it's crushing me.

I've dreamt big dreams, and I've reached for the sky,
But sometimes, I'm so tired, and I wonder why.
I thought hard work was the key to success,
But it doesn't always work, I must confess.

I've put in the effort, as much as I could,
Yet the results don't change, it's understood.
I'm no genius, that's clear, I'm far from that,
I stumble and fall, feeling like a doormat.

And when it comes to beauty, I'm far from the best,
Not for you, not for anyone, I must confess.
I'm not the one who turns heads in a crowd,
I feel invisible, lost in a shroud.

Apollo, you loved me, and I pushed you away,
It's a memory that haunts me, night and day.
I'm like a photo in a broken frame,
Lost and damaged, never quite the same.

Lately, it feels like nothing's working for me,
I've tried and tried, but I can't break free.
Even self-harm, it used to bring some peace,
But now it feels like pain that'll never cease.

I yearn for love, for knowledge, for joy,
To be happy, to be more than just a broken toy.
I dream of wandering Scotland's rainy streets,
In a world where my heart and mind finally meet.

Honestly, I want to be a character in a book,
To escape the darkness, to find a new outlook.
This might sound like a goodbye, it's true,
But maybe, just maybe, I'll find my way through.