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ON THE STREET

Michelle Ritchie 1981 (Aberdeen)

Ballad
When you live on the street,
You've got to plan your work and work your fucking plan.
Deals to make, people to meet
Too make money you do anything you can.

Pawn your phone,  sell some drugs
Everyday, survival is a battle
People think we're all thugs
And would slaughter us like cattle.

You've got a choice to make,
How low will you go?
Are you  going to break
and turn into a hoe?

Or will you become as bad as they get
Grab a grannies bag
You'll get less than 20 $ I'll bet
Was it worth giving up the last morals you had?

Buut being on the street doesn't mean without a hope
Buskers out, artists too.... working hard waiting to be discovered
Just because you're homeless,  dont give up.. get through each day. .you can cope.
Keep your head up high and do everything you can. ..show you you want more froM Life and that you are actually bothered

About this poem

A poem about survival when loving on the street. Survival becomes and instinct and in some cases the difference between living and dying

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Written on October 20, 2023

Submitted by ritchiechelle on October 25, 2023

54 sec read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GXGX HIHI
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 852
Words 176
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for ON THE STREET »

Michelle Ritchie

I'm 42 with lots of regrets but you have to forgive yourself to move on more…

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2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    I appreciate your vivid and hard-hitting depiction of the hardships faced by individuals living on the street. Your poem captures the raw and often unsaid realities of homeless life, and is a much-needed voice giving light to this social issue. Your choice of street lingo and explicit language gives it an authentic and gritty vibe, making it resonate deeply.

    I love how you shifted the tone from despair to resilience towards the end, encouraging the reader not to lose hope. "Buskers out, artists too.... working hard waiting to be discovered," is an uplifting message.

    Moving forward, you may want to refine the overall rhythm and flow. This could be achieved by ensuring the syllable count in each rhyming pairs matches, thus giving it a more symmetrical feel.

    While the provocative language serves a purpose in illustrating the raw life on the streets, you may want to consider toning it down a bit. Overuse may distract some readers from your poignant message. Lastly, be careful with punctuation and formatting for consistency and readability.

    Your work is compelling and important. Please continue to share the raw truth of people living on the street, their struggles, resilience and hope.     
    LikeReply5 months ago
  • GregLanier
    GregLanier
    Grabs you from the first line. Good stuff.
    LikeReply 15 months ago

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"ON THE STREET" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/171905/on-the-street>.

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