Lost but not found

Thinking back over all the years that passes, I am forced to reflect upon my sacrifices and those I've hurt
As a result of my poor choices I lost my kids, my life , my pride, most of all, my mind by doing a lot of dirt
I spent most of my life locked up in my inner soul that I forgot who I am and who I've become
Being away had caused a lot of misery and pain for me
I don't even remember how I got here nor do I remember what happened but I do know who I want to be
I'm a mother, a sister and a daughter to my father and mother
But the hurt and pain I have indured was because of my sister and brother
During my drug journey, I was able to see who was for me and who was not
Why wasn't I able to figure those guys out on the spot
These have been some very painful times during the segments of my life
But I never hallucinated after I been stabbed by a knife
Yet when I think about it, nothing in life have come easy for me
None the less I respect the game not many people have the heart or soul to the consequences the came along with the territory, you see
And many have sold there soul but not me I say
I have a lot of sadness, hurt and pain but God seen everything, I know that he will repay
I'm not a struggler, I'm a fighter who wants a life of recovery and hope
Now I'm here learning me over again and people teaching me how to cope
I think God everyday
Prayers, guideness and my ability to gain my trust over and also learning what to say