The Sinking Hole

I smile with my face but scream beneath my eyes, my meaning in life has been deprived, I struggle to climb up this hole that was supposed to be shallow, yet I climb and I climb just to be fall deeper into what the fates allow, I scream and I cry, tell my self it’s just for tonight, a mere hope I tell myself daily, yet I know some days are just a facade, I’ll be down here forever, one day with some sun the next with no where to run, most days it’s a downpour, and I’m drowning while my head swirls, the taunts, the thoughts, the actions of wrong doing, the people who swore they knew what they were doing, some days it’s just quiet, no noise, no feeling, just me being, then I question why am I being if all I do here is “be”, theres obviously no purpose for me, I’m just a waste of space, easily replaced, more like easily improved, trust me I’d rather have someone else to, that’s when it rains again, Day by day it’s me drowning then climbing, then winding and falling, not everyday is the same some days are longer, those are my favorite days when the quiet grows peaceful and the sun shines brighter, sometimes with no tears watered, but there I am still in the hole, just a little deeper down than before.